Do you have some sort of unhealthy obsession with water buffalos?
Yes.

What’s with the veiled military references? Are you some sort of operator?
According to the DMV, I am a Class D operator, and I’ve played Operation, but no, I do not have any military experience beyond an interest in military history and a general fondness for those among us willing to risk their lives for a cause greater than themselves. However, I was a member of an elite paramilitary organization…

So if you’re not some bad-ass operator, what’s with all the redacted photos?
You’ve experienced social media, where people try and show a stylized version of themselves “living their best lives,” with faces enhanced with all manner of filters? This is anti-social media. I’m just another anonymous MF toiling out in the swamps, just like you. Plus I have a face that was meant for radio.

I’d like to contact you, probably to tell you you’re an asshole. How do I do that?
I already realize I’m an asshole, thanks. I don’t yet have a means of contact, mostly because I don’t want another thing to check that gets flooded with garbage.

Is this supposed to inspire people or something?
I don’t know; are you inspired? I just want a place to park my thoughts.

You know you’re supposed to have one of those ridiculously annoying things that pops up and tells people about cookies and then makes them check a bunch of meaningless boxes for GDPR, right?
You can tell the EU they can take my cookies from my cold, dead hands. No, really… I love the heck out of those white chocolate macadamia cookies and I’ll wrastle you for the last one, EU overloads!

I’d like to write a guest post that’s completely unrelated to any of your content, or sell you my magical SEO juice that if you pour all over your website, will increase your Google Machine rankings by 62349%! How do I contact you?
Send a self-addressed, stamped envelope during the rainy season with your compelling business proposition, and a picture of Liberace, to:
The Water Buffalo
Leach-infested Rice Paddy #853
Rutted Road of Sticky Red Clay
Southeast Asia, 3ATM3